Marvel’s superhero epic The Avengers hits theaters this Friday, kicking off four months full of Hollywood’s hottest commodities. Complete with aliens and spies, explosions and car chases, violence and PG-13-style romance, this time of year always offers something for everyone. Thus, without further ado, the Haiku Review announces its most anticipated movies of the 2012 summer movie season.


1. The Dark Knight Rises (July 20)


It takes one Batman
to defeat six Avengers
at the box office.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1345836/





2. The Avengers (May 4)


Marvel’s master plan
in the hands of Joss Whedon?
Now that’s nerdvana.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0848228/









3. Prometheus (June 8)


Ridley Scott returns
to Alien. Excitement’s
bursting from my chest.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1446714/









4. Brave (June 22)


I’ll see anything
Pixar does, but it’s great to
see a female lead.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217209/









5. The Bourne Legacy (August 3)


Bourne without Bourne, eh?
At least Jeremy Renner
helps soften the loss.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1194173/









6. ParaNorman (August 17)


The Coraline gang
make a kid’s flick with zombies.
I’ll see dead people.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1623288/









7. Moonrise Kingdom (May 25)


What do you want me
to say? The hipster in me
loves Wes Anderson.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1748122/









8. Savages (July 6)


Oliver Stone’s hit
or miss, but this violent
drug epic looks sharp.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1615065/









9. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (June 22)


The book was lame, but
Bekmambetov’s style might just
emancipate it.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1611224/









10. The Dictator (May 16)


Bruno was limp, but
Cohen still has some Borat
good will left over.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1645170/








And now here are the least anticipated movies of the summer:





1. That’s My Boy (June 15)


WHO’S still paying to
see these Adam Sandler turds
and can we kill them?


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1232200/









2. What to Expect When You’re Expecting (May 18)


The only thing I’m
expecting is some stillborn
attempts at humor.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1586265/









3. Battleship (May 18)


When they make Jenga
into a movie will it
have aliens too?


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1440129/









4. Sparkle (August 17)


Whitney Houston’s last
film role. Apparently, we
are supposed to care.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1876451/









5. G.I. Joe: Retaliation (June 29)


Knowing the first one
sucked is half the battle toward
not seeing this one.


http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1583421/








So now the Haiku Review wants to know what your most anticipated movies of the summer are. Leave your comments or post your own haikus below.




c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
All release dates are subject to change.

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