Tag Archive: Accidents

Haiku Review: Arbitrage (2012)

arbitrageStarring: Richard Gere, Susan Sarandon, Tim Roth & Brit Marling
Written and directed by Nicholas Jarecki

A corrupt business tycoon finds the sale of his company threatened while trying to cover up both fraudulent bookkeeping and a scandalous accident.

Hey, it’s hard out there
for a corrupt, entitled
corporate sleazebag.

Grade: A-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Arbitrage is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 12/21/12.


Starring: Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell, Miles Fisher, David Koechner & Tony Todd
Written by Eric Heisserer
Directed by Steven Quale

When a premonition leads a group of people to cheat death by avoiding a deadly accident, Death comes to reclaim them one by one. Again.

This franchise should have
died long ago, so why has
Death not come for it?

Grade: D+

By Daniel J. Hoag
Final Destination 5 is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.

Haiku Review: The Descendants (2011)

Starring: George Clooney, Shailene Woodley, Amara Miller, Beau Bridges, Matthew Lillard & Judy Greer
Screenplay by Alexander Payne and Nat Faxon & Jim Rash
Directed by Alexander Payne

A man struggles with the discovery that his wife, who is in a coma after a boating accident, was having an affair.

‘Twixt this and Sideways,
Payne’s proving to be quite a
national treasure.

Grade: A

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Descendants is now playing in theaters nationwide.

Starring: Tyler Labine, Alan Tudyk & Katrina Bowden
Written by Eli Craig & Morgan Jurgenson
Directed by Eli Craig

Two redneck friends are mistaken for murderous backwoods hillbillies by a group of obnoxious, preppy college kids, especially when a number of them begin to die off in seemingly suspicious circumstances.

Hey college kids! You’re
in for some bloody (great) laughs.
A new cult classic.

Grade: A-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Tucker & Dale vs. Evil is now available on Blu-ray and DVD.

Starring: Evan Glodell, Jessie Wiseman, Tyler Dawson & Rebekah Brandes
Written and directed by Evan Glodell

Two best friends who spend all of their free time building Mad Max-inspired flamethrowers and muscle cars in preparation for a global apocalypse have thier lives turned upside down when one of them falls for an unfaithful woman.

When it catches fire,
this thriller explodes into
a solid mindf@#&.

Grade: B

By Daniel J. Hoag
Bellflower is now available on Blu-ray and DVD.

Starring: Liam Neeson, Diane Kruger, January Jones, Aidan Quinn & Frank Langella
Screenplay by Oliver Butcher & Stephen Cornwell
Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra

After a traffic accident while in Berlin for a biotechnology summit, a man awakens from a coma to find that his wife doesn’t acknowledge him and someone else has taken over his identity.

It’s just another
amnesia thriller you are
likely to forget.

Grade: C

By Daniel J. Hoag
Unknown is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 6/21/11.

Starring: John Travolta, Nancy Allen, John Lithgow & Dennis Franz
Written & directed by Brian de Palma

A sound-effects man believes he has accidentally captured a political assassination on tape.

A blown tire, a mic
De Palma tries for his own
The Conversation.

Grade: B+

By Daniel J. Hoag
Blow Out is available on Criterion Collection Blu-ray and DVD tomorrow.