Tag Archive: Drug dealers

heatStarring: Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy, Demián Bichir, Marlon Wayans, Michael Rapaport & Jane Curtin
Written by Katie Dippold
Directed by Paul Feig

An uptight FBI agent and a crude Boston cop team up to stop a high-level drug dealer.

This is what Lethal
Weapon looks like now that Mel
Gibson’s gone crazy.

Grade: B

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Heat is playing now in theaters nationwide.


Haiku Review: Snitch (2013)

snitchStarring: Dwayne Johnson, Barry Pepper, Jon Bernthal, Michael K. Williams, Melina Kanakaredes, Benjamin Bratt & Susan Sarandon
Written by Justin Haythe and Ric Roman Waugh
Directed by Ric Roman Waugh

When a man’s son is arrested for narcotics possession, he makes a deal to infiltrate a local drug ring to reduce his son’s sentence, but soon finds himself in over his head with a Mexican cartel.

Can you smell what The
Rock is cooking? I’m worried
that it might be meth.

Grade: B-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Snitch is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.

Haiku Review: End of Watch (2012)

end of watchStarring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Michael Pena, Anna Kendrick, Natalie Martinez & America Ferrera
Written and directed by David Ayer

Two Los Angeles police officers find themselves in danger when they stumble upon a violent drug cartel.

I don’t remember
any cops on Cops looking
like Jake Gyllenhaal.

Grade: B+

By Daniel J. Hoag
End of Watch is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.

(Blu) Haiku Review: Dredd (2012)

dreddStarring: Karl Urban, Olivia Thirlby, Wood Harris & Lena Headey
Screenplay by Alex Garland
Directed by Pete Travis

In a post-apocalyptic wasteland, two law enforcement officers, known as “Judges,” must survive being trapped in a 200-story apartment slum where they are hunted by a ruthless drug kingpin and her well-armed minions.

It doesn’t co-star
Rob Schneider, thus instantly
better than Stallone’s.

Grade: B

By Daniel J. Hoag
Dredd is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 1/8/13.

Starring: Iko Uwais, Joe Taslim, Donny Alamsyah, Yayan Ruhian & Pierre Gruno
Written and directed by Gareth Evans

When an elite SWAT team raids an apartment building run by a vicious drug lord, they find themselves trapped and under siege by the gangster’s well armed bodyguards and tenants.

Plot dies a gory
death – but at least it’s a cool,
martial art-y death.

Grade: B

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Raid: Redemption is available on Blu-ray and DVD tomorrow.

Starring: Blake Lively, Taylor Kitsch, Aaron Johnson, Benicio Del Toro, John Travolta & Demián Bichir
Screenplay by Shane Salerno & Don Winslow & Oliver Stone
Directed by Oliver Stone

Three young Californians with a successful marijuana business find themselves in danger from a Mexican cartel.

Taylor Kitsch decides
to make a film that doesn’t
suck balls for a change.

Grade: B

By Daniel J. Hoag
Savages is playing now in theaters nationwide.

Starring: Will Ferrell, Gael Garcia Bernal, Diego Luna, Genesis Rodriguez & Nick Offerman
Written by Andrew Steele
Directed by Matt Piedmont

A simple man must protect his father’s ranch when it is threatened by rival drug lords – one of which is his brother.

Gringo Will Ferrell
habla en español por
alguna razón.

Grade: B-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Casa de Mi Padre is available on Blu-ray and DVD today.

Starring: Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum, Brie Larson, Dave Franco, Rob Riggle & Ice Cube
Screenplay by Michael Bacall
Directed by Phil Lord & Christopher Miller

Two rookie cops are sent undercover to stop a drug ring at the high school where they were once adversaries.

The Street‘s been repaved
and despite a few bumps, it
makes for a good ride.

Grade: B+

By Daniel J. Hoag
21 Jump Street is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 6/26/12.

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Kate Beckinsale, Ben Foster, Giovanni Ribisi & J.K. Simmons
Screenplay by Aaron Guzikowski
Directed by Baltasar Kormákur

A former smuggler goes on one last job to help protect his brother-in-law from a vicious drug lord.

Marky Mark smuggles
charisma (which means if it’s
there, he hides it well).

Grade: C

By Daniel J. Hoag
Contraband is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 4/24/12.

Starring: Jonah Hill, Max Records, Ari Graynor, JB Smoove & Sam Rockwell
Written by Brian Gatewood & Alessandro Tanaka
Directed by David Gordon Green

A slacker drags the kids he’s watching into the city to meet his girlfriend and ends up running afoul of a drug dealer.

If you need a good
sitter, I suggest finding
Elisabeth Shue.

Grade: C-

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Sitter is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 3/20/12.