Tag Archive: Evil

conjuringStarring: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Lili Taylor & Ron Livingston
Written by Chad Hayes & Carey W. Hayes
Directed by James Wan

Based on the true story of Ed and Lorraine Warren, paranormal investigators who, in 1971, helped a family that was being terrorized by a demonic presence shortly after moving into a new home.

Prepare yourself for
the scariest film ever
made about clapping.

Grade: B

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Conjuring is now playing in theaters nationwide.


rise of the guardiansStarring: Chris Pine, Alec Baldwin, Jude Law, Isla Fisher & Hugh Jackman
Screenplay by David Lindsay-Abaire
Directed by Peter Ramsey

The Guardians of Childhood – Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, Sandman, and the Tooth Fairy – recruit Jack Frost to help them battle the boogeyman.

I thought that Jack Frost
was a snowman that sounded
like Michael Keaton.

Grade: C

By Daniel J. Hoag
Rise of the Guardians is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 3/12/13.

possessionStarring: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Kyra Sedgwick, Natasha Calis, Madison Davenport, Jay Brazeau & Matisyahu
Written by Juliet Snowden & Stiles White
Directed by Ole Bornedal

A young girl becomes possessed by a malevolent spirit – known in Judaism as a dybbuk – after purchasing a mysterious box that imprisoned it.

Oy vey! This dybbuk
should skip meshuga clichés,
find a nice doctor.

Grade: C

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Possession is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 1/15/13.

Haiku Review: Looper (2012)

Starring: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Bruce Willis, Emily Blunt, Paul Dano & Jeff Daniels
Written and directed by Rian Johnson

In the future, when the mob kills people by sending them back in time where a hired gun awaits, one assassin is shocked to find his next target is a 30-year-older version of himself.

Such horror to learn
that you’ll grow up to be a
coot like Bruce Willis!

Grade: A-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Looper is now playing in theaters nationwide.

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Ian McShane, Bob Hoskins, Ray Winstone, Nick Frost & Toby Jones
Screenplay by Evan Daugherty and John Lee Hancock and Hossein Amini
Directed by Rupert Sanders

When a princess escapes the clutches of an evil queen, a hunter is dispatched to retrieve her.

Stewart’s the rotten
core that helps make this shiny
apple taste so bad.

Grade: C+

By Daniel J. Hoag
Snow White and the Huntsman is available on Blu-ray and DVD tomorrow.

Starring: Kristen Connolly, Chris Hemsworth, Anna Hutchison, Fran Kranz, Jesse Williams, Richard Jenkins, Bradley Whitford, Amy Acker & Sigourney Weaver
Written by Joss Whedon & Drew Goddard
Directed by Drew Goddard

Five young people on vacation find their remote cabin in the woods to be a source of unexpected horrors.

Horror conventions
get a Joss Whed-enema
Geek gods will be pleased

Grade: A-

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Cabin in the Woods in now playing in theaters nationwide.

Starring: Michael Angarano, Kerry Bishé, Nicholas Braun, Kyle Gallner, John Goodman, Melissa Leo, Kevin Pollak & Stephen Root
Written and directed by Kevin Smith

Three teenage boys are kidnapped by a militant fundamentalist group lead by an evil pastor with a deadly moral agenda.

Kevin Smith slacks off
on a solid idea
for a smart thriller.

Grade: C

By Daniel J. Hoag
Red State is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 10/18/11.

Haiku Review: Fright Night (2011)

Starring: Anton Yelchin, Colin Farrell, Toni Collette, David Tennant & Imogen Poots
Screenplay by Marti Noxon
Directed by Craig Gillespie

A high school student begins to suspect that his next door neighbor is a vampire.

A Buffy writer
and a slick cast give this camp
80s remake fangs.

Grade: B

By Daniel J. Hoag
Fright Night is now playing in theaters nationwide.

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy & Christopher Lee
Written by Bragi Schut
Directed by Dominic Sena

Two disgraced crusaders must transport a woman accused of being a witch to a distant monastery, a quest that finds them facing a terrifying evil.

The blackest arts could
not conjure up worse evil
than too much Nic Cage.

Grade: D+

By Daniel J. Hoag
Season of the Witch is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 6/28/11.

Starring: Jim Sturgess, Clémence Poésy, Eddie Marsan & Timothy Spall
Written and directed by Philip Ridley

A young man with a disfiguring birthmark on his face makes a Faustian deal with a demon to have it removed.

Atmospheric creeps
lurk despite a lethal pace.
Boo hoo, a birthmark.

Grade: C+

By Daniel J. Hoag
Heartless is available on DVD today.