Tag Archive: Invasions

Haiku Review: Man of Steel (2013)

man of steelStarring: Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Michael Shannon, Kevin Costner, Diane Lane, Laurence Fishburne & Russell Crowe
Screenplay by David S. Goyer
Directed by Zack Snyder

A young man with extraordinary powers must confront his extraterrestrial heritage when Earth is threatened by criminals from his home planet.

Look, up on the screen!
It’s a bird! A plane! No, wait–
it’s a turd in tights!

Grade: C

By Daniel J. Hoag
Man of Steel is now available on Blu-ray and DVD.

Anyone who lived through the 1980s probably remembers Red Dawn, the World War III movie in which a bunch of Colorado high school students band together to fight against invading Russian and Cuban soldiers. It’s not exactly high-class cinema, but Dawn captured the Cold War paranoia of the Reagan years, when the world was just a button-push away from nuclear holocaust at the hands of our Soviet adversaries. Thanks to its distinct subject matter and its destined-for-fame cast of young Hollywood talent, the film has become something of an enduring time capsule – enough so that, a few years back, Hollywood thought it worthy of 21st century facelift. Enter the new Red Dawn, just out in theaters, with a new cast of fresh-faced somebodies. Continue reading

Starring: Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill, Richard Ayoade, Rosemarie Dewitt & Will Forte
Written by Jared Stern, Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg
Directed by Akiva Schaffer

Four bumbling neighborhood watch members in a small Ohio town must stop an aliens from destroying the world.

I’ll choose alien
invasion over Vince Vaughn
any friggin’ day.

Grade: C-

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Watch is available on Blu-ray and DVD on tomorrow.

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Mark Ruffalo, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Tom Hiddleston, Clark Gregg, Cobie Smulders, Stellan Skarsgård, Samuel L. Jackson & Gwyneth Paltrow
Written and directed by Joss Whedon

When the evil god Loki threatens Earth with an alien invasion, Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. must assemble the world’s mightiest heroes – including Iron Man, Hulk, Thor, and Captain America – to stop him.

Loki tried, but it’s
Joss Whedon who has achieved
world domination.

Grade: A-

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Avengers is now playing in theaters nationwide.

Somewhere in the middle of last decade, the creative folks behind comics giant Marvel realized they could probably make more money by producing their own films rather than licensing their property to other movie studios. After reacquiring the rights to several of their key superheroes, Marvel Studios began to unveil a series of films with overlapping continuity, shared characters, and a master plan that would lead up to a massive ensemble piece. Now that plan comes to fruition with The Avengers – the Marvel Universe collective that features such heavy hitters as Iron Man, the Incredible Hulk, and Captain America. With The Avengers opening in theaters in less than a week, it’s time for the Haiku Review to look back at the Marvel Universe films that have been leading up to it. Continue reading

Starring: Aaron Eckhart, Michelle Rodriguez & Bridget Moynahan
Written by Chris Bertolini
Directed by Jonathan Liebesman

A platoon of Marines battle a hostile alien invasion.

E.T.s take L.A.,
find only worn clichés and
Private Ryan theft.

Grade: C

By Daniel J. Hoag
Battle: Los Angeles is available on Blu-ray and DVD tomorrow.

(Blu) Haiku Review: Skyline (2010)

Starring: Eric Balfour, Scottie Thompson & Donald Faison
Written by Joshua Cordes & Liam O’Donnell
Directed by The Brothers Strause

A group of friends in Los Angeles try to survive an alien onslaught.

Frak aliens: fear
the Worst. Dialogue. Ever.
FX can’t save you.

Grade: D-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Skyline is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 3/22/11.