Tag Archive: Witches


hansel and gretelStarring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare & Derek Mears
Written and directed by Tommy Wirkola

Fairy tale siblings Hansel and Gretel grow up to hunt witches.


This tooth-rotting house
is made of stale candy corn,
sh!tty dialogue.

Grade: D


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1428538/?ref_=sr_1

OzStarring: James Franco, Mila Kunis, Rachel Weisz, Michelle Williams & Zach Braff
Written by Mitchell Kapner and David Lindsay-Abaire
Directed by Sam Raimi

The story of how a swindling magician became the Wizard of Oz and defended the fantasy realm from a pair of evil witches.


Like Oz himself, this
film is just a screen with no
magic behind it.

Grade: C-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Oz the Great and Powerful is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1623205/?ref_=sr_1

Starring: Kodi Smit-McPhee, Anna Kendrick, Casey Affleck, Christopher Mintz-Plasse & John Goodman
Written by Chris Butler
Directed by Chris Butler & Sam Fell

A bullied kid who can speak to dead people must stop a witch’s curse after it raises zombies from the grave.


I want all grown-up
movies to have zombies, so
why not kids’ ones, too.

Grade: B


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
ParaNorman is playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1623288/

Starring: Kelly Macdonald, Billy Connolly, Emma Thompson, Julie Walters, Robbie Coltrane, Kevin McKidd & Craig Ferguson
Screenplay by Mark Andrews and Steve Purcell and Brenda Chapman and Irene Mecchi
Directed by Mark Andrews & Brenda Chapman

When a feisty Scottish princess finds herself at odds with her controlling mother, she finds herself confronted with an unexpected curse that she must race to undo before it’s too late.


The story plays it
safe, but Brave still feels like a
cool breeze up the kilt.

Grade: B+


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Brave is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1217209/

Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter, Eva Green, Jackie Earle Haley, Jonny Lee Miller & Chloƫ Grace Moretz
Screenplay by Seth Grahame-Smith
Directed by Tim Burton

After being buried alive for nearly two centuries, a vampire returns to his homestead only to find dysfunctional ancestors and a vengeful witch waiting for him.


For a creative
guy, Burton sure wastes a lot
of time on remakes.

Grade: C+


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Dark Shadows is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1077368/

Starring: Lauren Bittner & Chris Smith
Written by Christopher B. Landon
Directed by Henry Joost & Ariel Schulman

In 1988, a man attempts to videotape the ghostly entity that’s haunting his family.


The night cams still spook,
but this schtick and its story
are stretched pretty thin.

Grade: B-


c2011
By Daniel J. Hoag
Paranormal Activity 3 is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1778304/

Starring: Nicolas Cage, Ron Perlman, Claire Foy & Christopher Lee
Written by Bragi Schut
Directed by Dominic Sena

Two disgraced crusaders must transport a woman accused of being a witch to a distant monastery, a quest that finds them facing a terrifying evil.


The blackest arts could
not conjure up worse evil
than too much Nic Cage.

Grade: D+


c2011
By Daniel J. Hoag
Season of the Witch is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 6/28/11.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0479997/