Tag Archive: Sex


blue is the warmest colorStarring: Léa Seydoux & Adèle Exarchopoulos
Written by Abdellatif Kechiche & Ghalia Lacroix
Directed by Abdellatif Kechiche

Adèle is a young woman whose life is transformed when she begins an intense romance with Emma, an attractive artist with blue hair.


So explicit it
brings new meaning to the term
“three-hanky movie.”

Grade: A-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Blue Is the Warmest Color is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2278871/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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Dallas Buyers ClubStarring: Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Jared Leto, Denis O’Hare & Steve Zahn
Written by Craig Borten & Melisa Wallack
Directed by Jean-Marc Vallée

Based on the true story of Ron Woodroof, who, in the 80s and early 90s, set up a distribution ring of experimental and non-FDA-approved medication for desperate and neglected AIDS patients after discovering that he had contracted the disease – and that conventional American treatments were corrupted by poor bureaucracy.


McConaughey is
finally the actor we
all thought he would be.

Grade: A-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Dallas Buyers Club is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790636/?ref_=ttfc_fc_tt

Haiku Review: Blue Jasmine (2013)

Blue JasmineStarring: Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Sally Hawkins, Bobby Cannavale, Andrew Dice Clay, Louis C.K. & Peter Sarsgaard
Written & directed by Woody Allen

A New York socialite suffers a nervous breakdown and moves in with her lower-class sister after her husband is imprisoned for financial fraud and their assets are seized by the government.


Blanchett is the queen,
but you’ll just be surprised that
Dice Clay doesn’t suck.

Grade: B+


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Blue Jasmine is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2334873/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: This Is 40 (2012)

This is 40Starring: Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, John Lithgow, Megan Fox, Albert Brooks & Melissa McCarthy
Written and directed by Judd Apatow

As they both turn 40, struggling married couple Pete and Debbie must figure out how to balance romance, careers, parents and children.


I’d have rather watched
two hours of Albert Brooks
in This Is 60.

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
This Is 40 is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1758830/?ref_=sr_2

Haiku Review: Cosmopolis (2012)

cosmopolisStarring: Robert Pattinson, Juliette Binoche, Sarah Gadon, Mathieu Amalric, Jay Baruchel, Kevin Durand, Samantha Morton & Paul Giamatti
Written and directed by David Cronenberg

The life of a young billionaire begins to unravel during the course of a tumultuous trek across the city in his stretch limousine.


R-Patz proves he’s more
than a sparkley vamp – he’s
a total bore, too.

Grade: C-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Cosmopolis is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1480656/?ref_=sr_1

bacheloretteStarring: Kirsten Dunst, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan, James Marsden, Kyle Bornheimer, Rebel Wilson & Adam Scott
Written and directed by Leslye Headland

After a bachelorette party goes awry, three women must rush to fix the bride’s dress before the wedding.


Setting out to prove
that women can be just as
unfunny as men.

Grade: C


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Bachelorette is available on Blu-ray and DVD tomorrow.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1920849/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: For a Good Time, Call…

for a good time callStarring: Ari Graynor, Lauren Anne Miller, Mark Webber, Justin Long, James Wolk, Mimi Rogers, Nia Vardalos, Kevin Smith, Seth Rogen & Ken Marino
Written by Katie Anne Nayon & Lauren Anne Miller
Directed by Jamie Travis

Odd-couple roommmates operate a phone-sex business.


Pretty much the best
time one could have that involves
faking orgasms.

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
For a Good Time, Call… is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1996264/?ref_=sr_1

paperboyStarring: Zac Efron, Matthew McConaughey, Nicole Kidman, John Cusack, David Oyelowo & Macy Gray
Screenplay by Lee Daniels and Peter Dexter
Directed by Lee Daniels

A reporter returns to his Southern hometown to solve a mystery involving a murdered sheriff and a death row inmate.

Nicole Kidman does
what most of us want to do:
piss on Zac Efron.

Grade: C-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Paperboy is now available on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1496422/?ref_=sr_1

natural selectionStarring: Rachael Harris, Matt O’Leary, Jon Gries & John Diehl
Written and directed by Robbie Pickering

After her husband falls ill, a devout Christian housewife sets out to find the long-lost son he fathered many years ago.


If you’re an “every
sperm is sacred” guy, this film’s
got loopholes for you!

Grade: B-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Natural Selection is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1621426/

Haiku Review: Anna Karenina (2012)

Anna KStarring: Keira Knightley, Jude Law, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Matthew Macfadyen, Kelly Macdonald & Olivia Williams
Screenplay by Tom Stoppard
Directed by Joe Wright

In 19th-century Russia, an aristocratic woman risks everything she has when she begins an affair with an affluent calvary officer.


Costumes, staging mean
little without sympathy
for your tragic lead.

Grade: B-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Anna Karenina is playing now in select theaters.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1781769/