Tag Archive: Thieves

pinesStarring: Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendes, Ben Mendelsohn, Bradley Cooper, Rose Byrne, Bruce Greenwood & Ray Liotta
Written by Derek Cianfrance, Ben Coccio & Darius Marder
Directed by Derek Cianfrance

When the lives of a motorcycle stunt rider and a rookie cop collide, their children suffer the devastating effects.

The film opens on
Gosling’s abs and then just goes
downhill from then on.

Grade: B-

By Daniel J. Hoag
The Place Beyond the Pines is playing now in select cities.

identity thiefStarring: Jason Bateman, Melissa McCarthy, Jon Favreau, Amanda Peet, Robert Patrick & Eric Stonestreet
Written by Craig Mazin
Directed by Seth Gordon

After his identity is stolen, a businessman finds his life turned upside-down, and to put things right, he must travel from Colorado to Florida and return with the eccentric woman who did it.

Two funny people
swindle some laughs, but should have
nabbed a better script.

Grade: B-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Identity Thief is playing now in theaters nationwide.

Haiku Review: Seven Psychopaths (2012)

seven psychosStarring: Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken, Abbie Cornish, Harry Dean Stanton & Olga Kurylenko
Written and directed by Martin McDonagh

A struggling screenwriter finds himself in danger when his unstable best friend kidnaps the dog of a vicious gangster.

If Adaptation
were written by the coked-out
hitman from In Bruges

Grade: B-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Seven Psychopaths is available on Blu-ray and DVD tomorrow.

killing them softlyStarring: Brad Pitt, Scoot McNairy, Ben Mendelsohn, James Gandolfini, Richard Jenkins & Ray Liotta
Written & directed by Andrew Dominik

A mob enforcer is called in to track down three criminals who robbed an underground poker game, which disrupted the criminal economy.

Seems our corporate
mentality is hurting
Tony Soprano.

Grade: B+

By Daniel J. Hoag
Killing Them Softly is now playing in theaters nationwide.

Starring: Aksel Hennie, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Synnøve Macody Lund & Eivind Sander
Written by Lars Gudmestad & Ulf Ryberg
Directed by Morten Tyldum

An art thief runs afoul of a vindictive mercenary.

Hell hath no fury
like that Game of Thrones guy scorned.
Plus, dog rides tractor.

Grade: B+

By Daniel J. Hoag
Headhunters is now playing in select cities.
TCFF 12-18

Starring: Frank Langella, Peter Sarsgaard, James Marsden, Liv Tyler & Susan Sarandon
Written by Christopher D. Ford
Directed by Jake Schreier

A retired jewel thief is given a robot butler by his son to help with the old man’s care, and soon the two new friends are pulling off heists together.

Touching and funny.
This robot makes a better
friend than most people.

Grade: A-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Robot & Frank opens 8/12/12 in select cities.
TCFF 12-04

Starring: Sam Worthington, Elizabeth Banks, Jamie Bell, Anthony Mackie, Edward Burns & Ed Harris
Written by Pablo F. Fenjves
Directed by Asger Leth

An falsely-accused ex-cop escapes from prison and climbs out on the ledge of a tall building to serve as a distraction while his brother attempts to steal a valuable diamond that might help prove his innocence.

It’s fitting that this
plot resembles the splattered
corpse of a jumper.

Grade: C

By Daniel J. Hoag
Man on a Ledge is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 5/29/12.

Starring: Ben Stiller, Eddie Murphy, Casey Affleck, Alan Alda, Matthew Broderick, Judd Hirsch, Téa Leoni, Michael Peña & Gabourey Sidibe
Screenplay by Ted Griffin and Jeff Nathanson
Directed by Brett Ratner

When a malevolent billionaire swindles the staff of a luxury hotel out of their pensions, several of them band together to break into his penthouse to steal the $20 million dollars they believe is hidden there.

Murphy steals some laughs,
but the plot ain’t exactly
Ocean’s 11.

Grade: C+

By Daniel J. Hoag
Tower Heist is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 2/21/12.

Directed by Werner Herzog

An examination of murder and capital punishment through the eyes of a death row inmate and the families of the victims he killed.

Like Paradise Lost
but with guilty people and
far less sympathy.

Grade: B-

By Daniel J. Hoag
Into the Abyss: A Tale of Death, A Tale of Life is now playing in select cities.

(Blu) Haiku Review: In Time (2011)

Starring: Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried, Cillian Murphy, Vincent Kartheiser & Olivia Wilde
Written and directed by Andrew Niccol

In a world where minutes of life are currency, a young man finds himself accused of murder and on the run with the daughter of one of the world’s wealthiest men.

This convoluted
mess cost nearly two hours
of my precious life.

Grade: C

By Daniel J. Hoag
In Time is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 1/31/12.