Haiku Review: The Place Beyond the Pines (2013)

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Eva Mendes, Ben Mendelsohn, Bradley Cooper, Rose Byrne, Bruce Greenwood & Ray Liotta
Written by Derek Cianfrance, Ben Coccio & Darius Marder
Directed by Derek Cianfrance

When the lives of a motorcycle stunt rider and a rookie cop collide, their children suffer the devastating effects.


The film opens on
Gosling’s abs and then just goes
downhill from then on.

Grade: B-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Place Beyond the Pines is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1817273/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: This Is 40 (2012)

Starring: Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, John Lithgow, Megan Fox, Albert Brooks & Melissa McCarthy
Written and directed by Judd Apatow

As they both turn 40, struggling married couple Pete and Debbie must figure out how to balance romance, careers, parents and children.


I’d have rather watched
two hours of Albert Brooks
in This Is 60.

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
This Is 40 is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1758830/?ref_=sr_2

(Blu) Haiku Review: Pariah (2011)

Starring: Adepero Oduye, Pernell Walker, Aasha Davis, Charles Parnell & Kim Wayans
Written and directed by Dee Rees

A teenage girl in Brooklyn gradually embraces her identity as a lesbian, which begins to put added strain on her parents already-fragile marriage.


A must-see for both
the persecuted and their
ignorant haters.

Grade: A-


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Pariah is available on Blu-ray and DVD today.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1233334/

Haiku Review: Friends with Kids (2012)

Starring: Jennifer Westfeldt, Adam Scott, Jon Hamm, Kristen Wiig, Maya Rudolph, Chris O’Dowd, Megan Fox & Edward Burns
Written and directed by Jennifer Westfeldt

Two platonic best friends decide to have a child together and split the responsibility to avoid the strains that parenthood puts on romantic relationships.


Rom-com or one big
laundry list of reasons to
shun reproduction?

Grade: B-


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Friends with Kids is now playing in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1720616/

(Blu) Haiku Review: Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star (2011)

Starring: Nick Swardson, Christina Ricci, Don Johnson, Stephen Dorff & Kevin Nealon
Written by Adam Sandler & Allen Covert & Nick Swardson
Directed by Tom Brady

A small-town loser discovers that his parents were adult film stars and decides to move to California to follow in their footsteps.


Ummm, I’m pretty sure
someone forgot to write jokes
for this limp premise.

Grade: D-


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 1/17/12.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1411664/

Haiku Review: Carnage (2011)

Starring: Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, Christoph Waltz & John C. Reilly
Screenplay by Yasmina Reza & Roman Polanski
Directed by Roman Polanski

After their children are involved in a fight, two couples get together to discuss an amicable settlement, but their attempts at civility quickly devolve into savage behavior.


Scenery is chewed,
vomit is spewed, folks are rude.
It’s just a bit forced.

Grade: B-


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Carnage is now playing in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1692486/

Haiku Review: Take Shelter (2011)

Starring: Michael Shannon & Jessica Chastain
Written and directed by Jeff Nichols

When a man starts having disturbing visions, he begins to worry whether he is showing signs of mental illness or if some apocalyptic storm is brewing.

Michael Shannon gives
a maelstrom performance that
will blow your house down.

Grade: A-


c2011
By Daniel J. Hoag
Take Shelter is now playing in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1675192/

Haiku Review: Young Adult (2011)

Starring: Charlize Theron, Patton Oswalt & Patrick Wilson
Written by Diablo Cody
Directed by Jason Reitman

A young adult novelist returns to her hometown to win back her high school ex-boyfriend, who is now married with a new baby.


Theron makes being
hard to love easy to love.
Antiheroic!

Grade: B+


c2011
By Daniel J. Hoag
Young Adult is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1625346/

(Blu) Haiku Review: Colombiana (2011)

Starring: Zoe Saldana, Lennie James, Michael Vartan & Cliff Curtis
Written by Luc Besson & Robert Mark Kamen
Directed by Olivier Megaton

After witnessing her parents death at the hands of a brutal gangster, a young woman grows up to become an assassin in order to get violent revenge.


A catsuit does not
a convincing assassin
make, Ms. Saldana.

Grade: C


c2011
By Daniel J. Hoag
Colombiana is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 12/20/11.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1657507/

(Blu) Haiku Review: Beautiful Boy (2011)

Starring: Maria Bello, Michael Sheen, Alan Tudyk & Kyle Gallner
Written by Michael Armbruster & Shawn Ku
Directed by Shawn Ku

A struggling couple are devastated after learning that their 18-year-old son has committed a mass shooting at his college and then taken his own life.


Weighty but never
quite engaging; two hours of
solid misery

Grade: C+


c2011
By Daniel J. Hoag
Beautiful Boy is now available on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1533013/