Haiku Review: Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Eccleston, Zachary Levi, Ray Stevenson, Idris Elba, Rene Russo, Kat Dennings & Stellan Skarsgård
Written by Christopher L. Yost, Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely
Directed by Alan Taylor

Thor must rely on his dangerous and untrustworthy brother, Loki, to help stop an evil Dark Elf from destroying the universe.


Since when does Asgard
look like Rivendell and fight
Dark Elves? #wheresgollum

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Thor: The Dark World is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1981115/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Haiku Review: Pacific Rim (2013)

Starring: Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elba, Rinko Kikuchi, Charlie Day, Burn Gorman & Ron Perlman
Written by Travis Beacham & Guillermo del Toro
Directed by Guillermo del Toro

The human race must save itself from extinction by using giant mechanical robots to battle monstrous creatures that are rising up out of the ocean.


Giant robots fight
giant monsters. Who needs those
stupid Transformers?

Grade: B+


c2103
By Daniel J. Hoag
Pacific Rim is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1663662/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: World War Z (2013)

Starring: Brad Pitt, Mireille Enos, Daniella Kertesz & James Badge Dale
Written by Matthew Michael Carnahan and Drew Goddard & Damon Lindelof
Directed by Marc Forster

A United Nations employee traverses the globe investigating a zombie pandemic that is threatening to bring about the extinction of humanity.


Hey, that zombie book
you love has been turned into
a movie title!

Grade: C+


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
World War Z is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0816711/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: The House I Live In (2012)

Featuring: David Simon
Written and directed by Eugene Jarecki

A documentary about the War on Drugs, and the dramatic toll it has taken on the United States, its criminal justice system, and its economy.


The War on Drugs failed
long before you got your weed
card for swimmer’s ear.

Grade: A-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
The House I Live In is now playing in select cities and on VOD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2125653/

The Haiku Review’s Best Movies of 2012

It’s Oscar weekend, which means it’s once again time for The Haiku Review to reveal its best films of last year. And thanks to Ben Affleck, waterboarding, vengeful slaves, a French pillow, and one exceedingly incompetent fast-food restaurant staff, 2012 turned out to be a fantastic time at the cinema. So without further ado, here are the ten best movies of the year.

Haiku Review: 5 Broken Cameras (2012)

Featuring: Emad Burnat
Written by Guy Davidi
Directed by Emad Burnat & Guy Davidi

A Palestinian farmer documents the nonviolent protests that take place in his West Bank village against the encroachment of the Israeli army.


If a camera
stops a bullet to my head,
I’ll take up painting.

Grade: B+


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
5 Broken Cameras is now available on DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2125423/

Haiku Review: Zero Dark Thirty (2012)

Starring: Jessica Chastain, Jason Clarke, Kyle Chandler, Jennifer Ehle, Harold Perrineau, Mark Strong, Mark Duplass, Joel Edgerton & Chris Pratt
Screenplay by Mark Boal
Directed by Kathryn Bigelow

An account of the decade-long hunt for Osama bin Laden.


Bigelow is the
Navy SEAL of directors:
bold, precise, fearless.

Grade: A


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Zero Dark Thirty is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1790885/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

(Blu) Haiku Review: The Words (2012)

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Jeremy Irons, Dennis Quaid, Olivia Wilde & Zoë Saldana
Written and directed by Brian Klugman & Lee Sternthal

A struggling writer discovers a lost manuscript and publishes it as his own, only to have the true author confront him.


Words fail me at how
The Words fails me. Just try to
give a flying f@#$.

Grade: D+


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Words is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1840417/

Haiku Review: Les Misérables (2012)

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried, Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter & Eddie Redmayne
Screenplay by William Nicholson
Directed by Tom Hooper

In 19th-century France, a fugitive from justice seeks to put his criminal past behind him by raising the daughter of an ill-fated factory worker while fleeing the police officer who has sworn to capture him.


Look at me! I can
sing and cry at the same time
to a camera!

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Les Misérables is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1707386/

Haiku Review: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

Starring: Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage & Andy Serkis
Written by Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens, Peter Jackson & Guillermo del Toro
Directed by Peter Jackson

60 years before the events in The Lord of the Rings, a young Bilbo Baggins reluctantly sets out with a group of dwarfs who are bent on reclaiming their lost kingdom from the fierce dragon Smaug.


Bless us and splash us
Gollum’s most precious in this
overstuffed return.

Grade: B


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0903624/