Haiku Review: Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Christopher Eccleston, Zachary Levi, Ray Stevenson, Idris Elba, Rene Russo, Kat Dennings & Stellan Skarsgård
Written by Christopher L. Yost, Christopher Markus & Stephen McFeely
Directed by Alan Taylor

Thor must rely on his dangerous and untrustworthy brother, Loki, to help stop an evil Dark Elf from destroying the universe.


Since when does Asgard
look like Rivendell and fight
Dark Elves? #wheresgollum

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Thor: The Dark World is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1981115/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Haiku Review: Snitch (2013)

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Barry Pepper, Jon Bernthal, Michael K. Williams, Melina Kanakaredes, Benjamin Bratt & Susan Sarandon
Written by Justin Haythe and Ric Roman Waugh
Directed by Ric Roman Waugh

When a man’s son is arrested for narcotics possession, he makes a deal to infiltrate a local drug ring to reduce his son’s sentence, but soon finds himself in over his head with a Mexican cartel.


Can you smell what The
Rock is cooking? I’m worried
that it might be meth.

Grade: B-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Snitch is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0882977/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Haiku Review: The Central Park Five (2012)

Written and directed by Sarah Burns & David McMahon & Ken Burns

This documentary tells the story of five black and Latino teenagers from Harlem who, in 1989, were wrongfully convicted of raping a white woman in New York City’s Central Park.


West Memphis Three got
four films. Did these guys get just
one ’cause they’re not white?

Grade: B+


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Central Park Five is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 4/23/13.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2380247/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Haiku Review: The House I Live In (2012)

Featuring: David Simon
Written and directed by Eugene Jarecki

A documentary about the War on Drugs, and the dramatic toll it has taken on the United States, its criminal justice system, and its economy.


The War on Drugs failed
long before you got your weed
card for swimmer’s ear.

Grade: A-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
The House I Live In is now playing in select cities and on VOD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2125653/

Haiku Review: A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Starring: Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch, Mary Elizabeth Winstead & Yuliya Snigir
Written by Skip Woods
Directed by John Moore

John McClane travels to Russia where he and his estranged son attempt to foil a nuclear weapons heist.


It’s a good day to
call it quits ’cause this franchise
is dying easy.

Grade: C


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
A Good Day to Die Hard is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1606378/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: The Paperboy (2012)

Starring: Zac Efron, Matthew McConaughey, Nicole Kidman, John Cusack, David Oyelowo & Macy Gray
Screenplay by Lee Daniels and Peter Dexter
Directed by Lee Daniels

A reporter returns to his Southern hometown to solve a mystery involving a murdered sheriff and a death row inmate.

Nicole Kidman does
what most of us want to do:
piss on Zac Efron.

Grade: C-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Paperboy is now available on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1496422/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: Les Misérables (2012)

Starring: Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway, Amanda Seyfried, Sacha Baron Cohen, Helena Bonham Carter & Eddie Redmayne
Screenplay by William Nicholson
Directed by Tom Hooper

In 19th-century France, a fugitive from justice seeks to put his criminal past behind him by raising the daughter of an ill-fated factory worker while fleeing the police officer who has sworn to capture him.


Look at me! I can
sing and cry at the same time
to a camera!

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Les Misérables is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1707386/

Haiku Review: Killing Them Softly (2012)

Starring: Brad Pitt, Scoot McNairy, Ben Mendelsohn, James Gandolfini, Richard Jenkins & Ray Liotta
Written & directed by Andrew Dominik

A mob enforcer is called in to track down three criminals who robbed an underground poker game, which disrupted the criminal economy.


Seems our corporate
mentality is hurting
Tony Soprano.

Grade: B+


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Killing Them Softly is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1764234/

Haiku Review: Cloud Atlas (2012)

Starring: Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Jim Sturgess, Doona Bae, Ben Whishaw, Keith David, James D’Arcy, Susan Sarandon & Hugh Grant
Written and directed by Andy Wachowski & Lana Wachowski & Tom Tykwer

Individual lives impact and influence each other throughout six stories set during the past, present and future.


Six stories each linked
by human connection and
distracting makeup.

Grade: B


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Cloud Atlas in playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1371111/

Haiku Review: The Imposter (2012)

Featuring: Frédéric Bourdin
Directed by Bart Layton

This true-crime documentary tells the incredible story of a family who found their missing child after three years, only to discover that the person they got back was harboring an unbelievable secret.


You’ll think “How could folks
be so stupid?” But, hey, this
happened in Texas.

Grade: A-


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Imposter is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1966604/