Haiku Review: The Wolf of Wall Street (2013)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Jonah Hill, Margot Robbie, Matthew McConaughey, Kyle Chandler, Rob Reiner, Jon Bernthal, Jon Favreau & Jean Dujardin
Written by Terence Winter
Directed by Martin Scorsese

Based on the true rise and fall of Jordan Belfort, a corrupt, drug-fueled Wall Street executive who lived a life of extravagance by swindling his investors.


In the real world, Big
Bad Wolf eats Little Red and
gets away with it.

Grade: B+


c2014
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Wolf of Wall Street is playing now in theaters nationwide.
IMDb

Haiku Review: August: Osage County (2013)

Starring: Meryl Streep, Julia Roberts, Chris Cooper, Ewan McGregor, Margo Martindale, Sam Shepard, Dermot Mulroney, Julianne Nicholson, Juliette Lewis, Abigail Breslin & Benedict Cumberbatch
Written by Tracy Letts
Directed by John Wells

After their patriarch goes missing, a dysfunctional family reunites and finds themselves once again at odds with each other and their cancer-stricken, pill-addled mother.


A family so
messed up that incest is the
least of its problems.

Grade: B-


c2014
By Daniel J. Hoag
August: Osage County is playing now in theaters nationwide.
IMDb

 

Haiku Review: All Is Lost (2013)

Starring: Robert Redford
Written & directed by J.C. Chandor

After his boat’s hull is damaged by a stray shipping container, a sailor finds himself lost at sea and facing his own mortality.


It’s like Life of Pi
but without the tiger and
all that faith bullshit.

Grade: A-


c2014
By Daniel J. Hoag
All Is Lost is playing now in select cities.
IMDb

Haiku Review: Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Chloë Grace Moretz, Morris Chestnut, Clark Duke, Donald Faison, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, John Leguizamo & Jim Carrey
Written and directed by Jeff Wadlow

Kick-Ass and Hit Girl join forces with other citizens dressed as superheroes to stop the vengeance-fueled rampage of Red Mist.


Jim Carrey in a
mask: now much creepier than
when he was The Mask.

Grade: C+


c2014
By Daniel J. Hoag
Kick-Ass 2 is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1650554/?ref_=fn_al_tt_3

Haiku Review: Carrie (2013)

Starring: Chloë Grace Moretz, Julianne Moore, Judy Greer & Portia Doubleday
Written by Lawrence D. Cohen & Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa
Directed by Kimberly Peirce

After suffering abuse at the hands of her fanatically religious mother and cruel high school bullies, a teenage girl with telekinetic powers is pushed to the point of revenge.


One of her powers
is the ability to
make you roll your eyes.

Grade: C


c2014
By Daniel J. Hoag
Carrie is now available on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1939659/?ref_=ttfc_fc_tt

Haiku Review: Inside Llewyn Davis (2013)

Starring: Oscar Isaac, Carey Mulligan, Justin Timberlake, Adam Driver & John Goodman
Written and directed by Joel & Ethan Coen

A struggling musician tries to make end meet in the dwindling folk scene of 1961 Greenwich Village.


Hang in there, Llewyn:
folk will be cool again in
just 50 short years.

Grade: A


c2014
By Daniel J. Hoag
Inside Llewyn Davis is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2042568/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Haiku Review: Her (2013)

Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, Scarlett Johansson, Amy Adams, Rooney Mara & Chris Pratt
Written & directed by Spike Jonze

In the not-so-distant future, a lonely man develops a romantic relationship with his artificially intelligent operating system.


Admit it, after
watching this you tried to have
phone sex with Siri.

Grade: A


c2014
By Daniel J. Hoag
Her is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1798709/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Haiku Review: Frozen (2013)

Starring: Kristen Bell, Idina Menzel, Jonathan Groff, Josh Gad & Alan Tudyk
Screenplay by Jennifer Lee
Directed by Chris Buck & Jennifer Lee

When her sister’s magical powers trap their kingdom in an endless winter, young Anna sets out on a quest to find her sibling and bring back warm weather.


Buried under the
polar vortex of Disney’s
princess formula.

Grade: C+


c2014
By Daniel J. Hoag
Frozen is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2294629/?ref_=ttfc_fc_tt

Haiku Review: Nebraska (2013)

Starring: Bruce Dern, Will Forte, June Squibb, Bob Odenkirk & Stacy Keach
Written by Bob Nelson
Directed by Alexander Payne

A man reluctantly escorts his aging, alcoholic father to Nebraska when the old man becomes convinced that he’s won a million dollars in a sweepstakes.


ATTENTION! YOU MAY
(leave feeling like you) HAVE WON
A MILLION DOLLARS!

Grade: A-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Nebraska is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1821549/?ref_=nv_sr_1

Haiku Review: American Hustle (2013)

Starring: Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams, Jeremy Renner, Jennifer Lawrence, Louis C.K. & Robert De Niro
Written by Eric Warren Singer & David O. Russell
Directed by David O. Russell

Two swindlers are forced to help an overly ambitious FBI agent, and they soon find themselves neck-deep in political corruption and organized crime.


A comb-over and
bell bottoms would convince me
to do anything.

Grade: A-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
American Hustle is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1800241/?ref_=hm_cht_t4