Haiku Review: The World’s End (2013)

Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Martin Freeman, Paddy Considine, Eddie Marsan & Rosamund Pike
Written by Edgar Wright & Simon Pegg
Directed by Edgar Wright

Five friends reunite to finish an epic pub crawl they attempted in their youth, but instead find themselves confronted by an otherworldly threat to humanity.


Out of all the year’s
end-of-the-world flicks, this is
the one to die for.

Grade: A-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
The World’s End is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1213663/?ref_=sr_2

Haiku Review: You’re Next (2013)

Starring: Sharni Vinson, Nicholas Tucci, Wendy Glenn, AJ Bowen & Joe Swanberg
Written by Simon Barrett
Directed by Adam Wingard

A wealthy but dysfunctional family finds itself under attack from a trio of masked killers.


Once you have sex next
to your dead mom, it’s hard to
go back to normal.

Grade: B+


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
You’re Next is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1853739/?ref_=hm_inth_t3

Haiku Review: This Is the End (2013)

Starring: Seth Rogen, Jay Baruchel, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Danny McBride, Michael Cera & Emma Watson
Written & directed by Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg

Hollywood celebrities attempt to survive the apocalypse by barricading themselves inside actor James Franco’s house.


Whoa, Catholic school failed
to mention the whole getting-
raped-by-demons thing.

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
This Is the End is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1245492/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: The Impossible (2012)

Starring: Naomi Watts, Ewan McGregor & Tom Holland
Written by Sergio G. Sánchez
Directed by Juan Antonio Bayona

Based on the true story of a family who struggled to find each other after being separated by the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami.


Hundreds of thousands
dead in Asia, but let’s hear
about some white folk.

Grade: B+


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Impossible is playing now in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1649419/

Haiku Review: Life of Pi (2012)

Starring: Suraj Sharma, Irrfan Khan & Rafe Spall
Screenplay by David Magee
Directed by Ang Lee

After the ship carrying his father’s zoo animals sinks at sea, a young man finds himself fighting for survival while sharing a lifeboat with a dangerous Bengal tiger.


Ang Lee makes something
(3)Deep out of book club pop-
spiritual fluff.

Grade: A-


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Life of Pi is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0454876/

Haiku Review: The Resident Evil Franchise

Along with death and taxes, another certainty in life seems to be that as Halloween draws near, there will be at least one horror film franchise that spawns its umpteenth sequel. This season, it’s the Resident Evil brand that returns from the grave (see also: the upcoming Paranormal Activity 4) with the fifth installment in the mutant zombie apocalypse series. So it seems only natural that The Haiku Review should take look back at the videogame-inspired films and mutate a few syllables into something that resembles criticsm.

Haiku Review: Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012)

Starring: Quvenzhané Wallis & Dwight Henry
Written by Lucy Alibar and Benh Zeitlin
Directed by Benh Zeitlin

In her Louisiana Delta community known as The Bathtub, six-year-old Hushpuppy faces her father’s ailing health, devastating environmental conditions, and the threatening approach of an army of prehistoric creatures called aurochs.


A stark, stunning realm
This is where the Wild things are
A young star is born

Grade: A


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
Beasts of the Southern Wild is now playing in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2125435/

(Blu) Haiku Review: The Grey (2012)

Starring: Liam Neeson, Frank Grillo, Dermot Mulroney & James Badge Dale
Screenplay by Joe Carnahan & Ian Mackenzie Jeffers
Directed by Joe Carnahan

After their plane crashes in the Alaskan wilderness, a handful of survivors must fight off dangerous predatory wolves as they try to make their way back to civilization.


Note to self: if wolves
pursue you, don’t ask Neeson
for survival help.

Grade: B-


c2102
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Grey is available on Blu-ray and DVD today.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1601913/

(Blu) Haiku Review: The Darkest Hour (2011)

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Olivia Thirlby, Max Minghella, Rachael Taylor & Joel Kinnaman
Screenplay by Jon Spaihts
Directed by Chris Gorak

Five young people in Moscow find themselves fighting for survival when invisible aliens attack.


These ETs suck our
energy, which explains why
this flick has no juice.

Grade: C-


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Darkest Hour is available on Blu-ray and DVD on 4/10/12.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1093357/

Haiku Review: The Hunger Games (2012)

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Elizabeth Banks & Stanley Tucci
Screenplay by Gary Ross, Suzanne Collins & Billy Ray
Directed by Gary Ross


Yes, it’s good. So can
we all just forget about
stupid Twilight now?

Grade: B+


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
The Hunger Games is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1392170/