Tag Archive: Nudity


blue is the warmest colorStarring: Léa Seydoux & Adèle Exarchopoulos
Written by Abdellatif Kechiche & Ghalia Lacroix
Directed by Abdellatif Kechiche

Adèle is a young woman whose life is transformed when she begins an intense romance with Emma, an attractive artist with blue hair.


So explicit it
brings new meaning to the term
“three-hanky movie.”

Grade: A-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Blue Is the Warmest Color is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2278871/?ref_=nv_sr_1

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Dallas Buyers ClubStarring: Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer Garner, Jared Leto, Denis O’Hare & Steve Zahn
Written by Craig Borten & Melisa Wallack
Directed by Jean-Marc Vallée

Based on the true story of Ron Woodroof, who, in the 80s and early 90s, set up a distribution ring of experimental and non-FDA-approved medication for desperate and neglected AIDS patients after discovering that he had contracted the disease – and that conventional American treatments were corrupted by poor bureaucracy.


McConaughey is
finally the actor we
all thought he would be.

Grade: A-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Dallas Buyers Club is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790636/?ref_=ttfc_fc_tt

You're NextStarring: Sharni Vinson, Nicholas Tucci, Wendy Glenn, AJ Bowen & Joe Swanberg
Written by Simon Barrett
Directed by Adam Wingard

A wealthy but dysfunctional family finds itself under attack from a trio of masked killers.


Once you have sex next
to your dead mom, it’s hard to
go back to normal.

Grade: B+


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
You’re Next is now playing in theaters nationwide.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1853739/?ref_=hm_inth_t3

hansel and gretelStarring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Peter Stormare & Derek Mears
Written and directed by Tommy Wirkola

Fairy tale siblings Hansel and Gretel grow up to hunt witches.


This tooth-rotting house
is made of stale candy corn,
sh!tty dialogue.

Grade: D


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1428538/?ref_=sr_1

Room 237Directed by Rodney Ascher

This documentary explores numerous conspiracy theories about the hidden meanings that Stanley Kubrick supposedly buried in his 1980 film The Shining.


All work and no play
makes Jack dream up some crazy,
whacked-out ideas.

Grade: B+


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Room 237 is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2085910/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1

Haiku Review: This Is 40 (2012)

This is 40Starring: Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, John Lithgow, Megan Fox, Albert Brooks & Melissa McCarthy
Written and directed by Judd Apatow

As they both turn 40, struggling married couple Pete and Debbie must figure out how to balance romance, careers, parents and children.


I’d have rather watched
two hours of Albert Brooks
in This Is 60.

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
This Is 40 is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1758830/?ref_=sr_2

John DiesStarring: Chase Williamson, Rob Mayes, Paul Giamatti, Clancy Brown, Glynn Turman & Doug Jones
Written for the screen and directed by Don Coscarelli

A pair of college dropouts must stop an otherworldy invasion that is tied to a new street drug called Soy Sauce.


This gonzo genre
mash-up has “cult hit” written
all over John’s corpse.

Grade: B


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
John Dies at the End is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1783732/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: Cosmopolis (2012)

cosmopolisStarring: Robert Pattinson, Juliette Binoche, Sarah Gadon, Mathieu Amalric, Jay Baruchel, Kevin Durand, Samantha Morton & Paul Giamatti
Written and directed by David Cronenberg

The life of a young billionaire begins to unravel during the course of a tumultuous trek across the city in his stretch limousine.


R-Patz proves he’s more
than a sparkley vamp – he’s
a total bore, too.

Grade: C-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Cosmopolis is available now on Blu-ray and DVD.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1480656/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: Seven Psychopaths (2012)

seven psychosStarring: Colin Farrell, Sam Rockwell, Woody Harrelson, Christopher Walken, Abbie Cornish, Harry Dean Stanton & Olga Kurylenko
Written and directed by Martin McDonagh

A struggling screenwriter finds himself in danger when his unstable best friend kidnaps the dog of a vicious gangster.


If Adaptation
were written by the coked-out
hitman from In Bruges

Grade: B-


c2013
By Daniel J. Hoag
Seven Psychopaths is available on Blu-ray and DVD tomorrow.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1931533/?ref_=sr_1

Haiku Review: A Royal Affair (2012)

royal affairStarring: Alicia Vikander, Mads Mikkelsen & Mikkel Boe Følsgaard
Screenplay by Rasmus Heisterberg & Nikolaj Arcel
Directed by Nikolaj Arcel

In 18th century Denmark, a young queen’s affair with her mentally-ill husband’s doctor leads to political and cultural revolution.


At least leaders back
then had mental illness and
inbreeding to blame.

Grade: A-


c2012
By Daniel J. Hoag
A Royal Affair is playing now in select cities.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1276419/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1